Games People Play....

So on this fine morning I borrow my friend's bike to go to yoga, on my way back I stop to get a cup of coffee at you guessed it...my old bodega and of course without a doubt someone strikes up a conversation...this one was a bit different however...sometimes u find the answers in the most unexpected places

older gent: young lady u are very pretty
me: thanks
older gent: you have a beau
me:(I smile, I like the fact that he used the word beau) no sir, I don't
older gent: why not, a woman like u should have one
me: just unlucky I guess
older gent: You want to know what I think
me: I have a feeling no matter what my answer you are going to tell me anyway sir.

older gent:  Damn right! In just being in your presence for a minute I can tell u eat thunder and drink the rain (now he just quoted a line from one of my favorite songs Obeah Woman by Nina Simone...I am smitten) Whatever boy let you go is a damn fool, a man wouldn't let that happen.

me: (even more curious now I ask) what's the difference?

older gent: Stop dealing with boys who masquerade as men, they are fake soldiers that haven't fought any real battles. boys will come after u, a man will catch u, boys will try to change u, a man will love u for who u are, boys will compliment u, a man will honor u, boys will make u cry, a man will wipe your tears, boys will run from u when they realize u are indeed a woman who happens to be beautiful, not just a beautiful woman...do u understand?

me:  I do thank u
older gent: Females do it too it's just the games people play. I bet u have a list of things u will and won't stand for, stick to that and u will be just fine.

well...wow...now I am back after spending close to 45 minutes with this gent and I am glad I had my notebook with me because I was writing everything down...it made my head spin really but in a good way.

So here I am thinking about relationships and how some people get it right and others don't. BTW this older gent was married for 46 years, his wife passed away a few months ago...so I feel pretty lucky to have some of that wisdom thrown at me. I have been single for some time now and happily so..but I admit because I am human and a passionate one at that...that it does get lonely...sometimes. I still wonder if being in a relationship is the way to go...as far as I've seen only swans seem to get it right...as they only have one mate their entire lives...but I digress. When I am not out trying to organize the next big adventure or simply smelling the flowers...every now and again someone will catch my eye but almost inevitably they disappoint. Disappoint how? you say.  Without trying to sound like a bitter soon to be cat lady below is a list of things that I always find intriguing about people who are dating, seeing each other, hanging out, friends with benefits, whatever the hell u want to call it...there are some do's and don'ts too...probably why I am still single, but I get great advice from older men
; )

1. don't say u are going to call and don't
2. mean what you say and say what you mean...there are still a few people out there that live by this code
3. be nice...that is all
4. fight for someone if u believe that they are the one...there is something really beautiful about that
5. I think its weird if couples don't argue at all...that's the kind of relationship that leads to a real crime episode on A&E
6. I rather know you are an a**hole upfront, than find out weeks later
7. a girl can only be told she is pretty so many times
8. mourn your last relationship, however u need to do it...so u can get over it
9. don't be jealous of another person's approach to life...some of us do just fine  paying our bills and being a free spirit
10. make better cologne and perfume choices
11. let someone know when they have been disrespectful...too many people go through life being obnoxious and they should be enlightened.
12. that old adage "its not u..its me" is so damn on point
13. don't be a douche...no need for definition here.
14. not everyone is trying to sleep over...some people enjoy their bed...alone
15. be graceful when handing someone their ass..works every time
16. learn how to cook...for real
17. if it smells like bullshit...probably is
18. don't stand someone up...that just shows no home training what so ever
19. guys are just as dramatic as girls...yeah I said it
20. never think you can't get played
21. love letters are cool I don't care what anyone else says
22. have friends that u can "always" discuss your relationship issues with...always
23. no need to blow people up on facebook...no one needs to know or cares about it
24. don't hit on friends of the dude or girl u just broke up with yesterday
25. laugh more 
26. cry more
27. travel more
28. dance it out
29. its ok to call if u are genuinely concerned about someone, if u don't hear back...well there it is
30. always walk with money in your pocket...ya never know
31. don't speak to your ex only when your current one is not around...make introductions it makes life easier for everyone
32. why bring your current one to a place you frequented with your ex...that is just plain stupid and dramatic
33. if u like someone tell them, call them...what's with the waiting game
34. dead the "text"ships
35. If u really want to see someone...make the time...seriously
36. stop trying to sound smart...when you really are not
37. if u are not interested anymore...let the person know u might just gain a friend and maybe that's what is was supposed to be in the first place
38. cut someone off that treats you badly
39. don't assume because someone treats you with kindness they are trying to sling the ball and chain around your ankle...you are probably just lucky enough to have met a good person
40. girls can make booty calls too...what's with the double standard
41. run from crazy...like the wind
42. try above all else to be happy with yourself...hard terrain i know but it makes the healing a hell of a lot easier 
43. take advice from your elders...they know the deal